So Much Better Remix.... Sorry...

There are things that need to be said. They are, to my recollection, the following:

1) Human Trafficking. This is when you are waiting under the Dan Ryan Expressway in a car outside a restaurant predominately occupied by police. You are in the Southside of Chicago. You are waiting to make a drop-off... a human drop-off. You wait inside your car for the other party to arrive. When their car arrives, you grab one of your companions and gag them and forcibly shove them into the next car. It is helpful if they kick and scream all the while. You might shout at them loudly and cuss a little bit for effect. The police will then come over and ask what the situation is. The scene will go as follows:

COP: Say here! What's going on over here?
YOU: Nothing, Officer. We're just dropping our friend off. Her friend is picking her up so she can get her laundry.
COP: She was kicking and screaming!
YOU: Oh... that's just what we always do. You've never heard of a Chinese Fire Drill?
COP: What! Now, listen here. That's not a Chinese Fire Drill!
YOU: It's not?!
COP: Well, no! That's when you... well, you pull up to a... to a red light or something and you... you get out of the car and everyone trades places. But you're in the same car! That's the key here! It's the same car!
YOU: Well gosh.... if that's a Chinese Fire Drill, then what are we going to call this thing that we're doing?!
COP: That's called Human Trafficking, you dumbasses!
YOU: Human Trafficking! Perfect! Thank you, Officer!

And that's how the cookie crumbles.

We also ate slabs of beef tonight. Literal slabs. They were covered in marinara... not marijuana. We did not go to St. Louis.

Also, if you receive a number from Michigan that you don't recognize and they keep calling back... even though it's sketchy, you should probably answer it because you could come home to later find out that it's your roommate who you locked out when you took off for the South Side because she was doing her laundry. As if she wasn't already angry about the dishes.... Anyway, it all comes full circle. All of it. And when it dongs on you, it dongs hard.

The end.