5pm: Madison Wisconsin and Bianca decide to round off 2008 by eating at the bar below Bianca's apartment for the first time. Buffalo wings are ordered. This is not the last time they will be seen tonight.
9pm: The two depart to Target to use giftcard Christmas present from Mom on booze.
9:15pm: Target demands IDs from all persons in party. Booze is denied.
9:30pm: Jewel Osco. Only bottle of Absolut 100 is found. Goldschlager is deemed 'good idea.'
10:40pm: Madison forgets that the purchased Absolut is 100 proof and decides to do three shots. Goldschlager's ability to cut holes in throats is enjoyed.
10:50pm: Leave apartment. See that 32 year old neighbor's lights are on. Bang on door. Demand entrance. Enter. All parties are wasted. Run away.
11:20pm: Arrive at Warehouse. Impress everyone with Goldschlager and make them do shots.
11:56pm: "I really can't do another one seriously I'll die I can't!!" "COME ON, one more before midnight!!"
11:57pm: Madison pukes into convienently found cup as Bianca watches shamefully.
11:58pm: Bianca takes Madison to the bathroom. The buffalo wings make a second appearance.
11:59pm: Madison declares that she feels better and can now drink more.
12am: Midnight. Loudspeaker. There is jumping and dancing. Madison gets off on kissing unsuspecting people who are unaware that she has just vomited. Heh heh heh.
12:10am: Drunk girl confettis the dance crowd. Though in this context, 'confettis' really means 'drunkenly throws shards of golden foil into people's faces.
12:12: Madison and Bianca immediately leave for some reason.
12:30am: The two arrive at the next location. They see that Token Slut has brought with her 10 army boys from the burbs
12:30-2am: ??? Pineapple shots, more Goldschlager, a girl with aqua eyeliner talks about feminism. Peacebone by Animal Collective, LOVE that song. Was there grinding?
2:10am: Must go to Riley's party. This could be good or bad.
2:20am: Get there. Door is locked. Damnhellfuck. Get out phone to call inside parties when random Blonde girl with Edgy haircut opens the door and says, "Why are you so angry?" LISTEN, bitch. I'm not angry. Go inside.
2:22am: Find Riley with girl who thinks she got roofied. Riley is floored, Roofie girl is abandoned.
The next two hours are incredible.
>Redbull. Jim Beam.
>Dance floor. It starts out innocently, then that ludacris Ludacris comes on and Ethnic boy ethnically grinds on sacred girl parts.
>Thought $20 bill in bra went missing... find it on kitchen floor an hour later.
>Meet man in Orioles hat, discover fellow Baltimore friend.
>Sit on couch. Converse.
>Baltimore friend decides to provide a neck massage. Baltimore friend is a friend no longer.
>Ethnic boy tells Riley he wants to "fuck her, but be friends first so it's cool." This will not happen.
>All are amazed by my drunken singing and harmony.
>A blunt makes its way around the kitchen. Talents are rewarded.
>Am enlightened by the benefits of a fuck buddy... Still deemed too complicated.
>Meet Mr. Appreciative. So appreciative and so cute. Decide his appreciative ways would make him a good boyfriend.
>Wind up on bathroom floor with Riley. Ethnic boy keeps tryna cop feels. Who decided that drunken massages were sexy?
>Riley demands that Victoria is called. Though the two have not spoken in months, the conversation is good. Victoria is confused and presumably still wasted.
>Need to go. Have to get to the suburbs for wedding.
"I know you don't want to leave, but you have to. That's how I felt when I had to leave you the other night." Hmm.
40 minute ride to the suburbs. It's about 4:30am at this point.
Arrive to Mama Bianca's house shortly after 5. A bowl to calm down. Sleep. Wedding at 2pm. Lovely.
Have been sexdreaming all day. Not about Riley, but about Mr. Appreciative.
Yes 2009?
No comments:
Post a Comment